The World's Largest Box of Apple Juice!

spacegroceries:

why did i divide sin by tan?

just cos

I should stop reading political news while I’m sick.

It’s only making my headaches worse. ):

Anger is not conducive to fixing sickness.

My dad and brother need to quit making noise or I swear my head will explode and I will grow tentacles of death out of my fingertips and destroy everything.

I’d want to scream but my head feels like an anvil being used.

My attempted reaction irl:
 

My actual reaction irl:

NOOOOOOO *cough cough cough* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *cough hack* OOOOOO!!!!

m4ge:

notreallykira:

greengrey:

vanboobsenstein:

speakgirl:

weirdsociology:

dazaibrosamu:

fluxcapacitoppar:

autumn-and-eve:

rosemannequin:

homorobotica:

fraudstory:

richwhitelesbian:

i hope rick santorum is walking down the street and someone is walking the opposite way towards him and they both try to go around eachother the same direction and end up both looking like complete tools to all the cars driving by

I hope Rick Santorum orders a pizza and expects the pizza to be the best he’s ever eaten, but it is a very mediocre pizza and it ruins his day.

I hope Rick Santorum gets a burrito and it’s in terrible layers from top to bottom.

I hope someone hacks into Rick Santorum’s Facebook account and posts “I like men”.

I hope Rick Santorum tries to go into the subway expecting to refill his MetroCard with a five dollar bill but all of the machines say “No Bills Accepted” and he has to walk to where he wants to go

i hope rick santorum goes to rip out a piece of paper from a notebook and it rips right in half

i hope santorum asks someone to pick him up a bottle of irish whiskey at the liquor store, but instead they get him canadian whiskey by mistake. 

I hope Rick Santorum logs into Netflix and finds his queue out of order.

I hope Rick Santorum orders a latte with no foam and then picks up someone else’s cappuccino by mistake but the line is really long and the barista can’t hear him when he says his drink is wrong so he’s forced to start his day off foamily.

I hope Rick Santorum is driving around and around looking for a parking spot, and he finally sees one but it’s on the other side of the street and by the time he’s turned his car around someone else has parked there. 

I hope Rick Santorum goes to the food store looking for one specific item. The store is out of the item he desired, so he drives the the other store. They are also out of the item he wanted. 

I hope Rick Santorum gets something stuck in his eye and he can’t see anything in the mirror and nobody has any eyedrops so he has to go around all day rubbing his eye uncomfortably. 

I hope Rick Santorum pours himself a bowl of cereal and forgets that he is out of milk.

I hope Rick Santorum stubs his pinkie toe and the nail gets broken in half.